ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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