i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
