So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
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note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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