I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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