you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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