The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just found a bag of teeth...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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