She's JV to your varsity
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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