She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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