so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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