we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
