i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize