Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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