it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
