READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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