He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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