He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
