with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
