went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
