How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
