is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize