And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
