I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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