I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
