he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
