My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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