I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
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My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
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I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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