Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
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I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
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We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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