I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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