Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
