I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
