I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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