we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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