I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
