This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
