literally had 100 drinks last night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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