All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
