I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
how can u be prego again
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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