Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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