HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
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