Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
