google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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