I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
...so i touched it.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
