it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
