More tranny stories later!
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
