Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He shit in the fireplace
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
