If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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