im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
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