My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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