so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
