They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize