im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize