Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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