So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Boobs speak an international language.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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