Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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