i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
