You're my little dorito
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
