She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize