Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
