I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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