he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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