My brain says no but my pants say off.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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