All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i barfeds in our rink
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
